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  1. Instruction Manuals

    Friday, January 17, 2020


    My husband says I would write instruction manuals if I was a full time writer. Well, Darling, here are the names of the instruction manuals I would write.

    1. How To Get Shit Done In A Patriarchy When You Have No Resources -- This includes chapters called:
      • "Functioning Without Sleep"; 
      • "Proper Doses of Caffeine and Merlot"; 
      • "Asking For Help When You Don't Know What You Need"; 
      • "Smiling More While Feeling Resentful AF"; 
      • "Expecting Less From Yourself And Others"; 
      • "Mansplaining Explained"; 
      • "Leveraging Your Assets"; 
      • "Embracing Bitch Status"; 
      • "Harnessing Your Simmering Anger"; 

    1. How To Break Your Misogyny -- Chapters include, 
      • "How To Clean, Not Just Neaten Things Up"; 
      • "How To Be Helpful Without Being Specifically Directed To Do So"; 
      • "Learning Empathy"; 
      • "Improving Your Emotional Intelligence"; 
      • "Mansplaining Explained; 
      • "Mental Load: Increasing Your Capacity"; 
      • "Expanding Your Emotional Labor Skillset"; 
      • "She Comes First"; 
      • "Shrill: What It Really Sounds Like"; 
      • "Bitches Are Just Women With Boundaries"

    Some other ideas that I haven't quite fleshed out...

    • How To Fake "Midwest Nice" When You're Salty AF
    • How To Parent When You Have No Idea WTF You're Doing
    • How To Move 3 Times In 9 Months
    • How To Clean Mold-Damaged Household Goods and Fabrics
    • How To Start, Run, And Sell A CrossFit Gym: A 5-Year Plan

    What do you think? I've got some real best-sellers on that list. What about you? What instruction manual could YOU write?