Despite a somber beginning, my trip to the Oregon Coast with Jacob and his parents was wonderful. And, as if the Pacific Northwest sensed my cynicism regarding the weather, the clouds parted and the sun shone the entire trip. I don’t know how a soul could not be rejuvenated by, among other great things, snow-capped mountain vistas, craggy coastlines, crashing waves, and…cheese.
Day 1
On Sunday, we began near Seattle, and made our way south on I-5 toward the Oregon Coast. Around lunchtime, we pulled off I-5 onto State Highway 504 to stop at the Mount St. Helens Visitor Center at Silver Lake . We watched a brief movie cataloguing the 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens from its tremulous beginning to its still lingering aftermath. Jacob’s Mom provided first-hand accounts of the soot and ash that rained down over central Washington following the eruption, of the damage wreaked on Spirit Lake where she used to vacation in summer with her family, and of the mounds of ash dredged from rivers choked with debris, which slid down the broken-apart mountainside. Nature certainly has its way of putting us humans in our place.
The visitor center was a nice break from the road, and the weather was so clear that I could see the snow-topped, gouged-out peak of Mount St. Helens. I stupidly left the camera in the car, so no visuals. We hit up Subway for before making our way back to I-5, then south along the shore of the Columbia River, toward Oregon. We passed through Portland, then joined up with Route 18, which led us west across the Willamette Valley – Oregon’s Wine Country (there are more than 200 wineries here). I think the next time I drive through, I should be on a party bus with a tasting itinerary and a vocab consisting of the terms “oaky”, “earthy”, “fruity”, “dry”, and “bouquet”. I’m sure cheese needs to be in there somewhere, too, but more on that later…
In the late afternoon, we finally roll up to the beach house in Lincoln City, Oregon. Jacob’s Dad made me wait outside until he could perfect the ambiance necessary for my entrance – namely roll up the shades so I could see the beautiful view of the crashing waves through the full-length windows facing the sea. Here, you can see it too.
The rest of the evening was spent settling in and recovering from a long day in the car. Good thing it is baseball and football season. Why watch the sea when there is ESPN?
Day 2
I love, love, LOVE waking up on vacation. It may be early, it may be late. Regardless, an alarm clock is not involved – just circadian rhythms at work. Jacob and I began our day with a beach workout – running barefoot and doing some push-ups, sit-ups, and planks. My boot camp instructor would be so proud! Too bad this was not really the level of morning activity I kept up for the rest of my stay in Pacific Standard Time. Well, too bad for my instructor. Blissfully wonderful for me. Let me tell you, though, that Pacific sand is freaking COLD! My feet were uncomfortably numb for the first half of the workout, then for the continuous run back they settled into comfortably numb. The hot shower back at the ranch felt like a dream!!
In the afternoon, we hopped in the car and drove a few miles north to Cascade Head Trail, which is a nice wooded trail leading up to the switchbacks that take you to the top of the headland. The view is absolutely spectacular!! Check it out:
Again with the fantastic weather, Pacific Northwest! I think your PR person might need to be fired, because all I ever hear about is cold, wet, and windy. Maybe you like it that way…keep all your good stuff hidden.
After the hike, we headed back to the ranch and my dogs were barkin’. It was only 6:30 PM, and I was cooked for the night. Dinner was Spring Fiesta, which involves a lot of fresh avocado and a whole bunch of other vegetable goodness. Monday night football with Brett Favre was dessert (or golden Oreos, whichever floats your boat). With the morning workout, the reading of books, the watching of waves, and the steep hike up and down the trail, I turned in relatively early, happy with the thought that I had no particular schedule for the next day, either.
Day 3 – Day of Cheese…and Beer
After a lazy start (for me, at least – some folks still go to work out on vacation), and after ogling some WHALES from the window, Jacob’s Mom and I toodled down the coast to Depoe Bay and Cape Foulweather for some light souvenir shopping and sightseeing. Upon our return, we started our great journey to the infamous Tillamook Cheese Factory. Tillamook is about 45 minutes north of Lincoln City, and apparently home to a great many high quality, well-fed jersey cows, which provide the best raw ingredient available for delicious-tasting CHEESE.
We started with the self-guided tour. Actually we started with a photo-op:
Because we were a twee bit hungry, and we knew cheese was on the menu, we kind of breezed through the tour. We saw the gloved and hair-netted, white-coated employees checking each baby loaf of cheese as they plopped the huge bricks of cheese on the conveyor belt, before each loaf got shrink wrapped and labeled. We also saw the display on Tilly (or is it “Tillie") the jersey cow – a mascot of sorts.
It reminded me of my Mom’s crazy ass story about “DeeDee Discount,” the three-legged dairy cow that Danny Wegman used to make Wegmans dairy products. Seriously, you’ll have to get her to tell you that story sometime. The genesis of that tale was Dad’s predilection for buying the store brand versus name brand. And if a cheese factory can be a tourist destination, then I think Wegmans should be one as well. I shopped and worked at that grocery store and nothing – NOTHING – comes close to the wonder of that place. If you have one near you, I envy you. I just don’t really envy the weather that surrounds any given Wegmans store. But, I wouldn’t mind going to the Scranton, PA store where I might have a chance of running into Michael Scott and company, filling up on Woo Pop.
Anyway, where were we? Right. Tillamook. Freakin’ A – they give you FREE samples! UNSUPERVISED! I can have as many free cheese curds and cubes of Horseradish Chedder, Hot Habanero Chedder, or Sharp Chedder as I freaking want!! Follow that up by making a bee line straight through the gift shop to the Farmhouse Café, where you can order up a tasty cup of coffee, a kick-ass grilled cheese sandwich, and a steaming cup of chowder. THEN, follow that up with some of the BEST tasting ice cream on this PLANET. I went for the Tillamook Mudslide, and next time I think in lieu of lunch, I will go for the flavor sampler – you get all 36 flavors for about $25.
Full up on dairy goodness, we waddled back to the car with our beefstick souvenirs (think of a 3 foot long Slim Jim) and drove south to Cape Meares Lighthouse and Wildlife Refuge. We parked at the trailhead and walked down the drive to the viewing areas and the lighthouse. Again, the weather allowed for breathtaking views of the coastal scenery…
Our visit was a little shorter than planned, as lunch took us later into the day than anticipated, and we still had a tall sand dune to climb. We hoofed our way back to the trailhead, then continued south in the car for Pacific City.
Jacob told me before of the standing competition between him and his father, which is a race to the top of the Cape Kiwanda sand dune near Pacific City. On this trip, the two of them invited me to the race. Based on Jacob’s description, I have an image of what this dune might look like in my head. I’ve been to the Outer Banks in North Carolina, so I’ve seen some serious sand dunes before, and I imagined it would be something akin to that. My imagination, however, failed me for when I saw the actual sand dune we were to race up.
The picture barely even does this thing justice. Look at how small that truck in the distance is, compared to the dune! It only gets more daunting the closer you get. Once the starting count was finished, I took off into the lead. ROOKIE MISTAKE. Twenty seconds in, and maybe a third of the way up the dune, I was sucking wind like an out-of-shape cop chasing down a fleet young purse-snatcher on foot. Jacob moved into the lead – bent in two and basically crawling up the dune on all fours like a bear. Jacob’s Dad steadily made headway, leaving me gasping, step by backsliding step, the rest of the way to the top. It was a tight finish at the end, with Jacob’s Dad nipping at Jacob’s heals with a late surge, but Jacob was able to stretch himself to a win. All that lung crushing work gets you a STUNNING reward.
Plus, there is beer at the bottom of that hill – microbrews for everyone at the Pelican Brewery. Jacob’s mom scored us a nice table window with a view of Haystack Rock (or “Gorilla Rock”).
Haystack Rock is one of four such rocks that dot the Pacific Coast. Once I was seated, I scored myself a nice Tsunami Stout. I used some big gulps to wash down some bits of the sand dune that I took with me.
When we finally returned to the house, we wound down the night with an epic game of Hearts. I finished in second place, and no one got to Shoot the Moon. That’s what happens when the competition is fierce.
Day 4
The final day of vacation always seems so glum. Like you’re trying to enjoy the last moments of freedom, but ultimately, you know you’re counting down to leaving. Yuck. The morning was foggy and gray, too, so that didn’t help too much. The first time during my whole visit that the Pacific NW weather was what its PR agent touted it as – cloudy and wet. It was at least a comfortable temperature.
Jacob and I took the day to do the town. We started with coffee and pastries as 101 Inspirations. The coffee shop is attached to an antiques store, which is actually a hodge-podge of items you would find at a garage sale. Lots of posters of Marilyn Monroe, some large figurines of Betty Boop, including one where she is dressed as a Devil Vixen with a tail coming out of her back, and lots of piles of old dusty magazines. Freaky store, yummy coffee. After that warm up, we headed to the outlet mall, just down the road. We both found some things to buy, which left us hungry and thirsty.
It all comes down to food, doesn’t it? It is our fuel, and it is an experience. Just ask Anthony Bourdain (I love him, don’t you?). Anyway, Oregon and the Pacific NW, in general, is chock full of microbreweries. Throw a rock and…So we hit up McMenamin’s Lighthouse Brewpub. We split the gyro sandwich and a pizza. I had the Black Rabbit Porter because cooler temperatures make me love thick, dark beer. By the time lunch was over, though, the sun was out and shining, so on the way back to the house, we stopped down at the beach. The water on the west coast is effing freezing, though, and any efforts to frolic in the foam fell flat. [Uh, by the way, how do you like THAT alliteration going on in that sentence!??! Ridiculous…and I didn’t even TRY!! Back to regular programming…]
We got back to the house to chill out before heading over to a dinner hosted by friends of Jacob’s parents. Our hosts treated us to a delicious dinner of baked salmon (YUM!), wild rice, steamed veggies, wine, and engrossing conversation at their well-appointed home. Player piano, anyone? Too bad our evening had to be an early one, as we all still had to pack and get to bed. We had a wake-up call of 2 AM coming our way. Oh yay.
Day 5
You know, with only 3 hours of sleep, I should keep going under day 4. Three hours of sleep is more like a brief, mid-afternoon nap on a Sunday, if you ask me. Not a night of sleep. We had to be up this early because our flight was at 6 AM out of the Portland airport, which is about 2 and half hours away from Lincoln City. So I dragged my ass out of bed, hefted my luggage out the door, and promptly tried to fall asleep again as we made our way back through wine county to the airport.
The flights home were pretty innocuous. I was, however, sandwiched in a middle seat of the 5 hour connecting flight from Denver to Tampa. I sat between Tall Drink of Water, Jacob, on one side and Large Expanding Man Who Couldn’t Get the Armrest All the Way Down on the other. I think my neck has a permanent crick in it from trying to sleep without touching Large Expanding Man. Home by 6 PM, I tried to get to bed early-ish so I could rest of for my next adventure. Stay tuned, because that report is coming up shortly.
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