Upon arrival at Ralphie's Place, a tradition began: At least one thing must go wrong upon arrival. Last year, it was the dead rat (a.k.a. Ralphie) found in the hinge of the fold-out sofabed. This year, it was the toilet that decided to flush onto the floor. The Righteous Hottie and The Task Master attempted to correct the problem:
...but alas, the only solution for the night was shutting off the water supply and flushing with a bucket of water. But only in emergencies. Thankfully, there is another full bathroom at Ralphie's place. To mourn the loss of one working toilet with 6 women staying in a 2 bedroom condo, we made drinks.
Day 1 - We awoke, we drank coffee, we grocery shopped, and we went to the beach. What else do you need to do in the Keys? Well, The Righteous Hottie would tell you that you need to supervise the plumber (as he fixed the faulty gasket in the toilet) and you need to talk to the St. Petersburg police, so you can file a report on the attempted break-in to your house. If you can't start a holiday weekend with a bang (a.k.a. a crowbar through a bathroom window), why start the weekend at all?? Fortunately, the Keys has the same solution for every problem that might come your way: sun and alcohol. The Righteous Hottie took advantage of both, as did the rest of us. Sombrero Beach is a darling hideaway in the Keys, with enough sand to soak up the rays and enough of a drop off to float and swim.
Day 2 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!! Rise and shine to the dulcet tones of Celine Dion crooning "God Bless America." French-Canadians really do make the best Patriots...Breakfast was one fantastic spread of star-spangled pancakes (banana, strawberries, and blueberries) and a great intro into a day filled with crafts (yes), floating (YES!), sun, floating, beer, and other tasty beverages at Summerland Key. Here was our Independence Day Flotilla of Fun:
After our day in the sun (including circumnavigation of Mega Grande Key), we lovely ladies toddled on back to Ralphie's Place for hot dogs, crescent roll-wrapped lil' smokies, and God knows what other deliciousness. I inhaled it all like there was no tomorrow. Dessert was the explosive display of fireworks on Sombrero Beach where, as the kid behind us said, "The finale is going to be IN. YOUR. FACE!" And no lie, that finale was all up in my grill. I tried to capture the display with the camera, but its all blurry. But heck, take a look and relive your own 4th of July...
Day 3 - I'm getting slower in my late-20s. Recovery is not a quick as it once was...even with an early bedtime. I won't say if it was an early-in-the-morning bedtime or an early-in-the-night bedtime because I don't want to reveal whether I am lame or awesome (I'm either too proud or too humble). Regardless, the morning brought bacon, egg, and cheese bagel sandwiches. Oh, happiness!! No worries, we supplemented some of the grease with fruit, or juice, or...coffee. Lots of coffee.
And then, sweating. We sat on the beach and sweated our lives away. It was a HOT day and the beach entry into the water was an exercise in "step through the seaweed." All the boat traffic from the night before (mooring to watch the fireworks on the beach) churned up a lot of green yuck. Once through, though, we were sitting pretty...as long as we batted away the Sargassum.
After lolling on the beach, we gals cleaned up right nice and drove on down to Key West for a beautiful sunset at Mallory Square, mojitos, and one savory, delicious dinner at Blue Heaven. After tasting The Righteous Hottie's surf and turf filet and scallops, I almost called the waitress back to reconsider my order, but my grouper with mango chutney was delicious in its own right. Our midnight drive back to Marathon was the first hint that we would soon be leaving the Keys altogether...
Day 4 - Time to pack up and go. As The Righteous Hottie's parents had just sold the condo, this was our last stay EVER at Ralphie's Place. This little two-bedroom palace had given us ladies two solid weekends of memories, fun, and laughter. For The Righteous Hottie, Ralphie's Place had been a family getaway for over a decade, and this last goodbye was bittersweet. The Righteous Hottie and I sipped our coffee on the screened-in balcony for one last morning. Ultimately, the Gang split into to two cars - one headed back to home base and the other to Ft. Lauderdale, where The Captain's wonderful parents would host dinner for some weekend-weary ladies. Ft. Lauderdale was my next stop on my two-week work n' play journey up the East Coast...
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Trip Stats:
Number of liters of Fresca consumed: 6 (at least)
Number of pretzels thrown into the ocean: half a bag (an underestimate)
Number of flesh wounds inflicted by the bottom of the pool: 3
Number of Lil' Smokies consumed: 2 packs
Number of times The Righteous Hottie "saved" my life with the pool's life-ring: 3
Number of times I jumped off the diving board into the ocean with my sunglasses on: 1
Number of times someone had to free dive in order to retrieve my sunglasses from the bottom of the ocean: 1
Number of times The Voice sent a text message: I lost count on the first night
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